Crack of Dawn

A poem by Jess Semaan

I wake up at the crack of dawn

To ask God

In the silence of a crack of dawn

I hear the bombs all over Ghaza

I ask God what came to a being to rejoice at a blood

I wake up because I can’t sleep longer than three hours

And now I hear there is an eclipse

And a yoga teacher asks me to manifest

I manifest

I am falling

and

failing

To manifest

I picture Ghaza’s sea wanting to crawl back into the earth to unsee

The horrors

Even a sea cannot comprehend

What came to a being to rejoice at innocent blood

I will emphasize innocent to inch you towards empathy

I wake up at the crack of dawn when it’s silent

To whisper in God’s ear

You for real?

Does God hear the whispers of the children of Ghaza

Too thirsty to scream

Precious are their bodies

Soon to be wrapped

Oh wait there is no one to wrap them

Soon to decompose

Will I smell their body at the crack of dawn

Does silence make the smell more pronounced

More nuanced

More blood

I wake up at the crack dawn

Thinking is it Beirut yet

Is it enough blood to quench a thirst

A thirst of a being

A thirst of evil

God I withdraw my question of is there evil

I spare you an explanation

For I have seen evil the face of evil

Of those around me

Who hear in the cries of Ghaza

More victory

Does the victor ever win

I wake up at the crack of dawn

In the silence

I hear the words of Ahed Tammimi

Every colonial empire must fall, will fall

I wonder what Ahed is doing at this moment

Can I trade my being’s safety for truth

For dignity

The crack of dawn cracks into a morning

Of noise

That isn’t Ghaza